You know you don’t feel good, and you would like to feel better. Your life is already really busy and you have friends, family and work relying on you showing up every day. How can there possibly be time to look after yourself as well. It’s just another thing on your plate you “have to deal with”. It’s overwhelming to even think of it, let alone take action on it. You put it aside, “I will deal with this another time”. Another month passes. You don’t feel better, in fact, you feel worse. You restart the above thinking process and come to the same conclusion and push it aside one more time. A month, a year, 10 years later… Nothing has changed for the better.
Do you recognize this scenario for yourself or anyone around you? This is often the pattern women can relate to very well. We women are so busy looking after everyone and everything else, we forget ourselves in the process. But where will everyone and everything else be if you can’t show up anymore because you have neglected yourself to the point of exhaustion or ill health?
Showing up for yourself is the first step to be able to show up for others. In case of an emergency in the aircraft, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others! How can you be the best for others if you are not the best for yourself?
When you are in the situation it can be hard to see how anything can change. Life is busy, time passes quickly and how do you stop the hamster wheel and change any habits. It can feel overwhelming and hard to know where to start.
Well, it all starts with your desired feelings. Knowing how you would like to feel will lead to new thoughts. New thoughts will lead to new actions. New actions lead to new paths. The clue is, YOU CAN’T SKIP ANY STEPS.
So to sum it up:
Define your desired feelings
Choose your actions
Change your path and deal with roadblocks
You simply can't skip any steps in the process
I often see clients who come with a health issue, and they want help. They just want their problem “fixed”. This mentality does not get them to the results they are looking for. Everything becomes too hard, and they give up at some point. Therefore, I always start with the mindset. The beginning can be slow because, if we want real results, we CAN’T SKIP THE STEPS.
Starting from a point of “feeling”, sets the intent to everything that follows. What happens if you skip this step and only think about what you want to “have” or the “action steps”? Then chances are much greater that you will get caught in overwhelm again very soon, loose motivation, and simply give up (again).
A new year is always a great place to start new thinking habits. We are all motivated by change when a new year starts. So how do you want to BE in 2022? How would you like to FEEL when you wake up in the morning? How would you like your body to feel when you come home after a long day at work?
Start by defining what your pain point is and how you would like it to feel different in the future. What is bothering you most in your life, at this moment?. That is your personal pain point which you are about to change! This can apply to anything in your life, below are a few examples related to health.
When we define our pain point we want to think about what we would like our desired feeling to be when that pain point is no longer there. Don't focus on result driven goals. Nothing tangible, it's just about the feelings right now! We want to focus on the feelings because they initiate a much deeper response in our body and lead us to choose the best actions to change our future paths.
Let’s look at a few examples:
Example 1
Pain point – You have HPV and cervical cell changes and you are worried about cervical cancer in the future
Desired feeling – “I feel worry-free and let go of things I do not have control over. All the cells in my body come together to make me feel healthy”
As opposed to an example of a result driven goal - “I want to get rid of HPV and cervical cancer risk”
Example 2
Pain point – You feel tired and stressed all the time
Desired feeling – “I feel energetic when I wake up in the morning, I am strong and resilient, and I trust my body to know my boundaries”
As opposed to an example of a result driven goal - “I want to have more energy to do all the things I need to do to get on with my life”
Can you see how you would choose very different actions by focusing on the desired feeling as opposed to the result driven goal?
By defining our desired feelings as detailed as possible, we create our own affirmation, our own very powerful manifestation. Manifestation – believing something into existence - it is an incredibly powerful tool. If you believe you can make something happen, chances are MUCH higher that they WILL happen. Because - everything you say, the actions you take, and the paths you choose, they will all be aligned with your belief!
If you really believe in something, everything you say, the actions you take, and the paths you choose, they will all be aligned with your belief
Step 1 - Define your desired feelings
So, start by defining your desired feeling! What do YOU want to be? What would YOU like YOUR health to FEEL like? Ask yourself this until you have an answer which feels right to you. You may adapt or change as often as you feel is necessary until it really resonates with you.
When you have defined your desired feelings there is no holding you back. Say it to yourself many times every day. Look at yourself in the mirror when you say it. Put in on a post-it throughout the house. Add it to your phone lock screen. Set a calendar reminder. Whatever you need to drill it in to your subconscious.
Step 2 - Choose you actions
When you know how you want to feel, choosing your actions will be easier. Whenever you need to make a choice, you ask yourself: “Will this action help me towards my desired feelings”. And with time, those decisions become more intuitive and natural to make.
Changing your actions will slowly change the path you are on. It is a slow process, and that’s good, because as a human being we are not fond of too much change
at a time. Slow change is the most persistent way to go for long term success.
Step 3 - Changing your path and dealing with roadblocks
Along the way you will reach roadblocks. You will make decisions which are not aligned with your desired feelings. You will doubt yourself. You will be stuck and not know how to continue. You may feel alone. You may want to give up all together.
Roadblocks can be a sign that change is happening too fast, or that we suddenly find ourselves a different person from when we started. Albeit a better person, it’s a scary place to be. I have been there too. But roadblocks are an amazing thing, because they are great opportunities for self-reflection. They help us grow, and they show us it may be time to reach out for help. As human beings we are not meant to go through life alone. We were meant to live in a community where there was always support. So, our modern-day life can feel very lonely at times, especially when we are stuck and need help.
When you are stuck - reach out for help. Remember, you are not meant to go through life alone
When we are stuck, we need to ask for advice. If your car doesn’t work, you call a mechanic. If you are stuck on your road to health, you need to find a mentor and ask for advice. Mentors are all around us. Some we know, some we don’t know yet. Some give us advice because they love us, some we must pay for advice. It is essential that we seek out the people who align with our desired feelings and purpose and ask for advice when we need it. It can be hard to ask for advice, we have forgotten how normal it used to be.
I still find it hard to ask for advice, but all the times I have been brave enough to do so, I have never been disappointed. When I have been at my lowest, I have made unusual connections with people who have been able to help me. People who have only entered my life for that sole purpose and whom I have never had contact with again since. People in our lives come and go and everyone in our life has a purpose for short or for long.
Acknowledging that we all have different needs is essential. You might need support right from the beginning, or only when you hit a certain roadblock, or anywhere in between. Not needing support at all is unusual, it’s usually a sign that we have not opened up enough. Remember, YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO GO THROUGH LIFE ALONE!
What is your pain point at the moment and how would you like to feel in 2022?
As a Naturopath have many tools in my toolbox to help you through small or large roadblocks. If you feel I could be the right health mentor or guide for you, please reach out to me. I am here to support you.
Kristina 😊
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